Sunday, September 09, 2007

I'm not a Superman

I'm not a superman...
I'm not a great man...
I'm not a born leader...
Hell, I'm not even a positive man...

Don't ask me to do super-human stuff...
Don't ask me to following the steps of the great men...
Don't ask me to sacrifice my time for members,
When I don't even have time for my own family and friends,
Whom I genuinely care and worry about.

I need my nights to rest and take a breather...
I need my weekends for my family who are seeing less and less of me...
I'm willing to arrange a few nights for the greater scheme of life...
Don't call me selfish if I can't commit more...
But then again, if wanting to spend more time with my loved one is selfish,
Then so be it...
I rather be a selfish a*rsehole than be a great man...

"You must call upon the potential within yourself" you cried.
But how do you know I'm not?
Why must I be judged against your own lofty standards?
Why must I be traumatised by the your judgement?
Why must I always be force to feel belittled by you?
Why must I be the force of revolution when I'm being pushed out of the revolution?

When trying my best is not enough, I've pushed myself.
When I feel sorry for own contribution, I analysed and changed.
When I feel lost, I seek advise and go back to my point of faith.
Did you ever stopped and looked at my situation?
Did it ever crossed your mind that the problem was never about effort?
Will you ever know that writing all these crap hurts me?
Because as much as you have expectation from me,
I also have expectation from you...
To sympathise me like a human who have his own ups and downs, good and bad.
When the happiness is all gone, what's the point of fighting on?
Who and what am I fighting?
The happiness of all,
Or you?

posted by Nick @ 3:36 AM